I thank you

i wish i can say thank you to anything,
anything with or without life,
and i don't expect anything but bless from them,
enough if they only know i thank them,
such as if i thank cloud,
it will break into tears,
for it must feel very happy

i wish i can say thank you
to anything for any reason,
to the automatic gate
for releasing me from the parking lot,
to the pillow
for giving me beautiful dreams,
to the cat
for exciting my endorphin,
to the back up singer
for not being a singer,
to the smoke
for residing in cigarrate,
to the drugs
for being so expensive,
to the rubbish
for jobs created,
to the beginning
for there always be an ending

just to let them know
how grateful i am,
before it's too late,
yes,before it's too late.

I am a fool because my love for you is unspoken

it's logic to think that you cry for me,
in this kind of weather,
at this point of time,
when there's nobody besides you,
and your mind is empty,
you begin to think of me,
of how much i change over time,
and how much you hate them,
worst, you wonder how much more i will have to change,
and that's the point where you burst into tears,
as if your tears will miraculously change me,
in fact it does,
but my love is unspoken,
as we seldom speak,
believe me mother,
if i can reverse back the time,
i'll prove my love,
let me marry your mother,
and have you as my daughter,
this time,
let me take care of you.

To him do i tribute

i scroll down the list,
when i don't have to scroll,
as i already know where to find,
but i scroll,
incase i am wrong,
although i know i couldn't be wrong,
i scroll from the earliest year,
although you were born 3 summers after,
name after name,
weird names like fruits and cakes,
some of them i fail to pronounce,
perhaps too much consonant involve,
there it goes,
unbold,
for countless times,
i see your name,
just before you died

Our life

on the rooftop i smoke,
i see cars,
cars with names,
with status,
in different colours,
moving on the road with emotions,
without touching each other,
taking different path
to their home,
some does reach,
some are not

i see four tyres beneath their body,
with it i see one purpose of their creation

As what being told

retrieved from my childhood memory,
a story need a handsome protagonist and ugly antagonist,
and as usual it starts with;

once upon a time, there live;
a villager,
a sheep,
a wolf,

a bullet being released,
predictably it hit the wolf

in another life, there live;
a villager,
a sheep,
a wolf,

a bullet being released,
predictably it hit the sheep

tell me who is who,
the ugly protagonist and handsome antagonist!

Strangest dream

slowly you whispered to me,
something dark,
that ate all whiteness,
left me with nothing,
not even hope

night came,
so dark that it ate all logics,
for the first time,
i began to question,
why night has to be dark?

i began to dream peculiarly,
in my dream there's nothing,
not even me,
just pure darkness,
slowly i heard your whispers
in my mother tongue

i woke up,
i still remember,
it was the brightest morning sun ever produced,
that i completely forgot about yesterday

What's left of me

this is me;
this beautiful body
& this splendid soul,
as what my mother's womb told,
exist longer than my ages,
than my memory,
unquestionable loyalty,
like a Siamese twin,
manipulating my blood & hormone,
sometimes others as well,
producing countless feelings,
feelings that are comforting & disturbing,
all are welcomed,
but not this weird feeling,
feeling that can't be described;

what's left of me
when people whom i love die?

prove to me your maturity,
neither of you to commit suicide!

Don't be selfish

is it a burden,
to preserve the people you love
in your memory;
the way they eat while sitting,
the way they walk while eating,
the blood's transition in their face when they are talking,
their voices when they say thank you,
anything that picture can't tell,
anything that word can't describe

those memories,
unlike other memories,
never turn itself into money,
as money will never turn itself into them,
but you will need them,
somewhere when you no longer find them,
someday when they no longer exist

Ingredients

a lot of flour,
a little bit of salt,
sugar,
& yeast,
appropriate amount of water,
that is called bread,
put a little bit of garlic,
now call it garlic bread

calm,
longing,
worries,
doubt,
lust,
mix them wisely
or foolishly,
that is called love,
put some passion inside,
now call it eternal love

Slit

for a moment,
if you are blind,
then slit your ego's throat,
leave your clothes,
clothes that kill other clothes,
but do not be naked,
as penis does have size,
wears only cloth,
made of something everyone can buy,
perhaps in white,
with no string attached,
in the name of god
you will see,
brighter than eyes,
as i have witness it,
in the face
of a blind woman,
with heart in almost perfect shape,
like in our childhood drawing,
like what you & me draw

open your eyes and be blind again

Curry-puff

i hate curry puff,
when the filling is red,
as if it is
made from
red blood
of innocent child
that unfit to be killed
in a war,
unjustice,
contradictly justifiable

no surprise,
there are people who like
it to be in thick red,
taking every bite gluttonously!